“My Partner Doesn’t Want to Work On Our Relationship”

You can always jumpstart this program yourself by choosing to practice Tools that generate positive behavior (Appreciations, Be Kind, Positive Tracking, Sandwiching). Your partner will likely notice your new attitudes and behaviors and like the change. When you change your own behavior, you elicit change in your partner. S/he may become curious or even reciprocate.

But before you initiate any change, remember, you want to warm things up, be sincere, if you feel irritated or frustrated by your partner’s reticence, try to generate empathy.

Lots of people don’t believe they can improve a relationship. They might feel awkward, insecure, sad, unsure, disappointed, lonely, ashamed, inadequate… who knows? If we didn’t grow up with positive models and good relationship skills, it’s hard to know where to start. Don’t blame them or yourself, just be willing to take the first step to reset.